Eleven Skunks

(& most human beings feel a minimum of 400 different feelings every day; don't worry you are normal)

May 24, 2024

I don’t know why the hurt haunts me so much.

I had an idea that I would wait outside the school the morning of their graduation and give each child a little flowering plant. A perennial. To represent my love. My sorrow.

I am a silly person.

I want to tell my side.

Hey, I really miss you.

Your little feet! Your new big words.

Is it hard not to think of me when you eat a salad?

The construction workers outside my music are playing rock and roll music.

The construction workers outside my window are also outside my music, banging in the sunshine.

I am always learning.

Children is a word. Child is a word.

I cleaned the chairs so carefully. I stayed late after work because I was worried I would miss something and she would notice and get mad. I did quite a lot of sweating and silent crying inside my body. I did not get paid for my time when I stayed late. I did not feel as though I deserved it. I felt bad about not being fast enough.

I wanted to win her, like Anne of Green Gables.

Also, I tried to be loud.

If I were still there I would be reading poems to 3 and 4 year olds right now because it is #poetryfriday

I would be making them all smile and feel safe and loved.

I heard you say I was not meeting your expectations and that I would never be able to, despite the poetry, despite the laughter and kindness in my heart.

I ate your words like a famished and lonely bear.

We used to send funny videos to each other.

We both love skunks. I think that might be the only thing that hasn’t changed.